Sunday, May 25, 2008

"Thoughts On This Last Year" by Rachel

Today marks one year of knowing Ryan in person. That has got me thinking about how much my life has changed in the past 12 months. Just about every area is different except for my first name. I have learned a LOT, and I thought I would share some things.

1. God is good.

I truly believe that. I don't really understand why the events happened as they did, but thru it all the Lord has been there for me and though the road has seemed long - I don't have to talk to many people in the medical field to know that my being alive is a real miracle.

2. Love is Amazing

I am not sure where I would be without Ryan's constant love, encouragement, and help. I attribute a lot of my recovery to him. I know that it hasn't been easy for him but he has never once shown that. He got a lot more than he bargained for this last Fall, but not once did he make me feel like he only was there out of duty. I will always be indebted to him. Going thru all that I did, while still single, makes me cringe inside.

3. I am Loved by a Lot of People

Everyone's prayers, support, and encouragement has blown me away. I am so thankful that people were so quick to pray for me and have their churches pray too. Especially that first weekend - when my brain was not responding and they thought maybe I had serious brain damage. So THANK YOU!

4. We Take so Much for Granted

Learning to do all of the basics again was frustrating, humbling, and a real challenge. I never once appreciated talking, eating or walking - but when you suddenly can only dream about doing those things (and then it seems like a BIG dream) - you think about things differently. I had to learn to be completely reliant on others for literally everything. And that was a challenge because I am naturally a pretty independent person, but it is rather hard to be when you can't do a single thing for yourself. Not being able to talk for multiple weeks was very eye opening. You don't realize how much you communicate with facial expressions (or simply your eyes when I couldn't even make any expression). You can learn to respond fairly well, but if you ever wanted something initiated - well good luck. Thankfully, I had RuthAnne there a lot and she can read me pretty well. Mom too. And Ryan got the crash course!

5. It Isn't Over

I still need everyones continued prayers. Specifically for my right side. Fine motor skills with my right arm are still a challenge. When it comes to things like writing - well let's say it is improving but I have the handwriting of an old lady. I can walk pretty well but I would love to be able to run again.

6. I am Pregnant

Trying to stay out of the limelight hasn't been my strong point lately. PLEASE pray for me though! I know God is in control (that is something that keeps getting driven home - you can have a plan or idea about your life, but we really don't have a whole lot of say in the matter sometimes). I am due the first of November and would covet everyone's prayers for a complete recovery by then. I know that in the scope of where I have been to where I am at now, it is totally feasible.